Marriage is beautiful and honorable but have you ever wondered why some mature men are not eager to get married? Have you ever come across someone who is old enough to marry, but not willing to settle down with a partner? In most parts of the world, women marry quite early in their lifetime while in the same places, you find the men getting married very late. Some even marry in their 40s, and others in their 50s.
But what could be responsible for this trend? Now we will be looking at those thing that make some men marry late….
1. THE FEAR OF GETTING INTO THE WRONG UNION
Some men are yet to marry because of the fear of falling into the wrong hands in marriage. Some men have heard different stories about failed marriages, and the reasons they failed; others have had a few bad relationships themselves, and when they put these into consideration, they opt to remain single, than put themselves in danger of settling with the wrong woman, and suffering the regret and trauma that may follow. So this serve as a form of discouragement to some men…. For them to get marry…..
There are many cases where by a man who is still single will come across some marriage that are full of nagging and fight… A marriage full of hatred….. No care, no attention….
2. LACK OF FINANCE
We all know that money plays a major role in starting a family. Without money, you cannot even have a decent wedding in most parts of the world. This is why you find that most men would rather wait till they have enough of it before they take the big step in their relationship. For this set of men, the will is there, but the money isn’t.
Money.. Money….. Money…This has become a challenge to men in our society….. So if there is no money, they will find it difficult to get marry.
3. High Bride Price
Everyone knows how expensive the traditional African dowry system can be. This is one reason a lot of brothers would rather stay off marriage till they can hold their own financially. Some parts of Nigeria take as much as a million naira as dowry payments. This is excluding sundry expenses that a man is expected to cover during the wedding ceremonies.
To gather enough money to pay the dowry of the woman you love in this part of the world may mean you have to hold a stable and better job that pays well for a couple of years.
4. SINGLE FRIENDS
When you are single, and most of your friends are, the thought of marriage may hardly occur to you because you have no one in your life to remind you of it. You tend to live the sort of life they live, just so you continue to have them in your life. This is why you see that most men get married only after their friends must have because that is when reality sets in. And apart from that, I’ve seen instances where friends dissuade friends from taking the next step in their relationship. All these can contribute to make a man uninterested in marriage.
5. They can get sex without marriage more easily than in time past.
Some single men realize now that they can get sex more easily than in times past, when ladies insisted in getting married before sex. A lot of single ladies have lost it when it comes to keeping themselves whole.
Most single ladies offer sex like no man’s business this time around even the so called “Christian sisters”. They have removed the fun single men use to have chasing them, since they are just there not to be chased but to be used and dropped. When guys realize that they can have all the sex they want without getting married, they just don’t see the point GETTING MARRIED. Single ladies, keep your body. You are too precious to be used and dumped
6. THE FEAR OF COMMITMENT
Most men get scared at the thought of marriage. They’d rather be in the sort of relationship where they won’t have to feel responsible for, and accountable to someone than be in one where their ‘freedom’ will be limited. They want to live life their own way, and not have to be bothered about someone else’s feelings.
7. They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying.
I believe it must have come to your attention now that a lot single men and women are living together now without being married to each other. It came to my own attention through my counseling sessions. I know some of these starts on Campus where a lot of girls are just not staying in their hostels, but have moved in with their boyfriends who probably have a room at the BQ of the lecturer’s Quarters on Campus or in their rented apartment in town, and most of their school mates consider it acceptable. Please note that this is also happening amongst those who profess to be Christians on Campus as well.
How do you expect these men to consider getting married when they have found a short cut to it? Cohabitation is ungodly
8. Desire for a flamboyant Wedding
Other group of men just put off marrying till later date because they want to show that they belong. Some times the excitement and pressure from family and friends make them to desire flamboyant wedding. When the fund is not yet available, the last alternative is to keep postponing getting married to the detriment of their marital life.
9. Further education:
The ability to acquire further knowledge hinders some men. They believed that in order for them to concentrate with studies, they don’t want to be disturb by family affairs or bearing the responsibility of children while in school.
10. Lack Of Boldness Or Fear Of Rejection
Some single men are not yet married because they are not bold enough to propose to a woman they love. Many have the fear of rejection. And most men love to marry beautiful women or women who have higher academic qualifications but they usually intimidated by them. It should not be so, but most men shy away from such women.
Are you an eligible bachelor? Why are you still single?
Please, share your reasons with us.
© Pst Samuel Olagbenjo, October, 2018
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