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Understanding and Keeping Sexual Purity


The greatest challenge for youths and married people in today’s world is the matter of sexual purity. It has become a battle that has wounded many and left an irredeemable scar in many lives and relationships.

Many mighty men and women are losing it on the bed of illicit sexual act. Hardly will you find singles who have not kissed or engaged in erotic conversations. Married couples aren’t spared from emotional infidelity that leads them to sexual sin. If you don’t understand what sexual purity is, it will be difficult for you to keep (maintain) it.

What is sexual purity? Sex is good and a beautiful part of our life that God created but several things can render a man sexually impure. Before I define what it is, consider these three scenarios.

Case 1: Imagine a golden cup that is kept in the midst of dirts and contaminants. No matter how precious gold is to you, you cannot use the cup to drink.

Case 2: Now, imagine having a golden cup that’s clean on the outside but filled with rubbish, hence making it unusable. Will you use it that way?

Case 3: What do you think would now happen to the golden cup after it has been washed internally and externally? It’s in this state that it would be useful, valuable and cherished.

Sexual purity is that aspect of a person’s sexual life whereby they’re both pure on the inside and on the outside. When your mind is pure, it’ll be easy for you to walk in sexual purity. Your mind is that aspect of your life that determines whether you’d be sexually pure or impure. It is possible to have virgins that are not sexually pure. They have practically done all that has to do with sex but no penetration. Yet, they’d claim purity. These kind of people matches case one example. Why? Because of their mind.

Also, it is not impossible to have someone who have lost their virginity but have embraced the art and discipline of sexual purity. This is so because they have a renewed mind. And it’s not a scarce commodity to have those who are both virgins and are sexually pure. These kind of people understood sexual purity and have kept themselves pure. The world today is fast losing the discipline of sexual purity and virginity (external sexual purity) because the devil is sponsoring the world system to pollute the lives of many promising youths. Every sexual appealing things you see has an agenda. It’s better you run away from it than to be polluted and be asking for cleansing. You cannot be sexually pure if you don’t understand what makes people sexually impure. And they are not limited to these.

  1. Kissing
  2. Erotic conversation
  3. Sharing nudes
  4. Sexting
  5. Pornography
  6. Lust
  7. Masturbation

Of all those things listed above, many take kissing to be inconsequential. Do you know that a kiss is a journey to sexual immorality? Nothing may seem to happen at the initial but in the long-run, something will happen.

There are quite a number of things you need to understand about sexual purity so that you can guard your life jealously.

  1. It is the determining factor for your usefulness before God.
  2. You cannot host the presence of God when you’re sexually impure.
  3. Sexual purity will empower you to live a life above sexual sin.
  4. One of the ways in which the devil uses to render men and women unfit for the Master’s use and to accomplish his 3-point agenda is through sexual impurity.
  5. Lust is the mother of all sexual impurities.
  6. If you’re not sexually pure while single, you aren’t likely going to be when you become married.
  7. One encounter with sexual impurity can lead you to destruction if you do not abstain from the act.
  8. Sexual purity starts from the mind. If your mind is corrupt or your mindset is warped, you cannot be sexually pure.
  9. Who you’re in a relationship with determines whether you’d remain sexually pure or not.
  10. One of the best ways of enjoying sexual intimacy in marriage is to be sexually pure.
  11. If you can master the art of sexual purity, little are the things you’d need to do to be holy.
  12. You can never enjoy your walk with God when you expose yourself to any form of sexual impurity because the devil will use it against you.

Anyone that lacks the understanding of sexual purity cannot uphold its legacy. Only fools make a mock of sin.

How can I embrace (keep) sexual purity?

  1. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issue of life (Prov. 4:23). Watch what you see, your eyes is the window of your soul; watch what you hear, your ears are the doorway into your soul and keep your heart clean because it is the “engine” of your life.
  2. Renew your mind daily (Rom. 12:2). Social media is filled with all kinds of information that will pollute, destroy and kill purity in you. If you don’t daily “lubricate” your mind with the word of God (as inspired to you by the Holy Spirit from the Bible), you will conform to the world’s standard and you’d have problem discerning what is good, acceptable and perfect will of God.

Today, many argue about oral sex, anal sex and kissing, whether it’s good or bad. These arguments holds no water because those who argue about it are depraved in their minds.The Holy Spirit told us through Apostle Paul that for as long as they do not acknowledge God in their thinking (mind), He gave them over to a reprobate mind to do those things that are not convenient (Rom. 1:28). Don’t leave your mind unrenewed because you’d someday become vulnerable to sexual immorality unconsciously.

  1. Watch and pray everyday. Be sober, be vigilant; for your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, seeks for whom to devour (1 Pet. 5:8).

Watch your relationship. Watch what you watch and what you hear. Watch what you read. Some books are not meant for you until you’re married. If you expose yourself to them while single, you’re only shooting yourself on the leg. And do not joke with prayer because it guards your soul. Jesus said, “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation…” (Matt. 26:41). Prayer gives you the strength to overcome anything that would make you fall into temptation.

  1. Be disciplined. This is an area where many fail. Control yourself when what you see is defiling. Stop the conversation when you don’t have anything meaningful to say. Learn to shun filthy conversation that’s said to you.

You need a power that’s greater to discipline yourself from those things that would make you lose your sexual purity and dignity. And that’s the power of the Holy Spirit.

Finally, take note of this, knowledge is good but if you lack spiritual understanding, you’ll become a victim of sexual immorality and becoming sexually pure will be an impossible task…but in all your getting, get understanding that God gives (Prov. 2:6).

© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2019

Previous articleMARRY RIGHT
Covenant Family Ministries is the operator of Blissful Relationship Int'l, Right Sexuality Network, War Against Rape and Sexual Abuse (WARSA), Covenant Media and Publication, Covenant Music, Covenant Youths and Campus Outreaches amongst others.