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Does It Makes You a Real Woman?


“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

Willy told her “If your waist is not included in our relationship; then our relationship is a waste. How do I know you love me? How do I know you are a woman?” How do i know we are sexually compatible. But in his mind he said “only if I can have sex with her; i cant marry you. I dont even love you. Let me just have this sex and run away.” The lady also thought and said in her mind. “I love him. I don’t want to lose him. My friends told me sex makes you a woman. Maybe am a girl; i need to become a woman.” Eventually, she gave in. You can figure out what happen afterwards; from what the guy said in his mind.

From my works with ladies, especially teenagers lots still believe it is sex that makes you a woman. I pity such ladies. Some even go to the extent of going to meet/beg men to have sex with them or to deflower them. After sex, they will say ??I am now a woman”. Hmm! I cover my face. Woman, it is not sex that makes you a woman. Any man that says he wants to have sex with you to make you a woman is a lier. He wants to satisfy his sexual desire on you. Resist him!

Read about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-31. Her price is far above money or sex. From the characteristics of the virtuous woman; sex was never mentioned. Not that am downplaying importance of sex within a committed married couple. What God is telling us here is that to build a home and keep a man; your character is of paramount. That is what will attract and sustain a real man. That is what a real man will celebrate and not one thousand and one reasons why you should have sex with him before marriage.

These are what will make you a real woman: maturity, descency, intelligence, character, submission, motherhood, being a good wife to your spouse, sexual chastity, trust, helpful, enterprise, hardworking, homely etc. What makes you valuable to a man are these virtues. Develop them. Tying womanhood to sex alone cheapens you and robs you of self esteem and values. The only person that should have sex with you is your husband and this is allowed after he has proposed marriage to you, sought for your parent consent and paid your bride price in holy marriage.

Woman! You are more than sex; don’t let deceitful men take advantage of you.

Abiodun Aremo (Coordinator)
Youths, Singles and Married
Right Sexuality Network

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